3 out of 3 people found the following review helpful:
Embarrassment of the Vampire?
Mac McGuire from Yorkshire,
30th December, 2005
Usually, I ignore film reviews preferring to make my own mind up, but having sat through this dross, I wish I'd taken more notice of other reviewers on this page. The film starts with 'actor' Martin Kemp frolicking with his girlfriend in the woods, she leaves, he falls asleep and wakes up being molested by 3 topless vampires........ Sorry, I nodded off myself then. The story continues in the usual vein (pardon the pun) of our Martin, now a vampire himself, spending years looking for someone to replace his lost love. Enter Ms. Milano and her pneumatic breasts, (look carefully and you can see the outlines of the implants). For someone who's supposed to be virginal, she spends most of the film getting 'em out at every opportunity. I tend to think this is the reason why she took part in this terrible film, after all they have to be paid for somehow don't they. Enter our Martin as some kind of nocturnal stalker with evil designs on Alyssa who, after being seduced, has to choose between living a normal life or living forever with our Martin. I know which one I'd choose. Pass the stake please. As an aside, how did MK get this job in the first place the jammy get. It must be the highlight of his career/life getting to grope Ms. Milano on a regular basis. Now he's advertising sofas on TV he must look back at this film with great affection. Heed MY advice - don't hire this film unless you are: a) a Alyssa Milano fan b) a teenage boy with raging hormones c) a plastic surgeon interested in the finer points of breast enlargement
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