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The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion (2002) Certificate 12

The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion
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Rated 3.0 stars
Average rating
(58%)
 
Starring: Woody Allen | John Tormey | John Schuck | Dan Aykroyd | Helen Hunt
Director: Woody Allen
Studio: PARAMOUNT HOME ENTERTAINMENT
Genres: Comedy
Languages: English
Released: November 01, 2004

CW Briggs is a veteran insurance investigator, with many successes. Betty Ann Fitzgerald is a new employee in the company he works for, with the task of reorganizing the office. They don't like each other - or at least that's what they think. During a night out with the rest of the office employees, they go to watch Voltan, a magician who secretly hypnotizes both of them, in order to use them for his dirty schemes. The next evening already, Briggs makes his first robbery, and when he wakes up in the morning he has no memory of it. Things get really complicated when he starts investigating the case. Will he be able to uncover... himself?

Rating of 2 stars out of 5
Radio Times

Woody Allen is in nostalgic mood for this handsome tribute to the 1940s crime B-movie. But he not only misses the timbre of hard-boiled argot, but also allows his pastiche plot to meander in a manner unthinkable in the bad old days of the 60-minute programme-filler. Yet, what really prevents a potentially diverting project from taking off is the love-hate mismatch between Allen's hapless insurance investigator and Helen Hunt's efficiency expert, who have been hypnotised into doing the bidding of nefarious showman David Ogden Stiers. Dan Aykroyd and Charlize Theron gamely boost underwritten supporting roles, but nothing disguises the lethal lack of inspiration.

Highest rated reviews

11 out of 11 people found the following review helpful:

Rated 5.0 stars
Entertaining little thriller

CLTW from Kent, 23rd June, 2004

Why do Woody Allen's recent movies take so long to get released in cinemas or DVD in the UK? Whilst this is not vintage Woody, it is a nicely produced consistently entertaining homage to 1940s film noirs with Allen casting himself in a typical Humphrey Bogart role - for once not the introverted neurotic he usually portrays. Helen Hunt is a delight as the colleague for whom he has a mutual loathing and whilst the plot is predictable the Allen slanted dialogue is fun.

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6 out of 9 people found the following review helpful:

Rated 1.0 stars
It's Woody's Worst

Spider59 from Hurstpierpoint, 15th November, 2004

This is by far and away the worst film Woody Allen has ever made. I got it excitedly, as a long time Woody Allen fan, thinking the premise of the story sounded good.

There is not a single laugh it it.

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4 out of 4 people found the following review helpful:

Rated 3.0 stars
Messages are for Western Union

moviemole from from Chichester, 10th March, 2005

Sam Goldwyn's immortal ebuke when some studio exec suggested his films should have 'meaning' perfectly applies here. This film has no message whatsoever. It is pure entertainment, and of course pure Woody Allen, which is almost the same thing.

Choose a wet evening, settle down with a drink. You won't be disappointed in this delightful, wise-cracking 'tec spoof, set as usual in the forties so Allen can feature his favourite music on the sound track.

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2 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Rated 2.0 stars
You are too old for this, Woody.

Leon Collins from London, 10th April, 2006

This film did badly in the States and was the first Woody Allen film never to get a general release in the UK. That dosn't mean much when classic films often get the same treatment but this is minor Allen and not up to his usual comic genius. Allen's script is good but the casting is bad: Allen is far too old to play a womanising, tough insurance investigator and his scenes with Helen Hunt are bizarre to say the least. Only Charlize Theron as a Veronica Lake type vamp shines out in this so-so film.

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Most recent reviews

Rated 3.0 stars
Enjoyable 40's B movie spoof

A Customer from Lewes, 10th February, 2010

Hey guys, this is a fun movie! One of Woody's period pastiches, not as delicious as 'Bullets over Broadway' but pretty darn entertaining nonetheless. This time he is spoofing 40's B pictures of the Boston Blackie/Charlie Chan variety with nods in the direction of various authors/film directors he reveres, so the more you know about movies the more you will enjoy it (and if you're a dummy who knows nothing then of course you won't). The feud with the female efficiency expert owes something to American humourist James Thurber's 'The Catbird Seat', and Charlize Theron's appearance as a Veronica Lake/Lauren Bacall lookalike to Howard Hawks' 'The Big Sleep'. Setting the action in an insurance office is obviously a tribute to Billy Wilder's 'Double Indemnity'. The plot of course is ridiculous as those B movie blackandwhites often were, but the dialogue, as usual with Woody, sparkles and is consistently amusing. Helen Hunt is on good ball-busting form, and Dan Aykroyd and Wallace Shawn are spot on.

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Rated 2.0 stars
I keep on trying...

Slurs from Scotland, 7th July, 2009

...to watch Woody Allen films. I keep thinking I must be missing something. I still haven't found it yet. If you want to spoof film noir, then spoof it properly and don't have a bunch of actors working their hearts out with someone playing Woody Allen in the middle of it all. If you want to recreate film noir then the same thing applies. I enjoyed parts of this film, but WA's insistence on airing his neuroses on screen and his tendency to live out his fantasies of being irresistible to gorgeous women, and then charging us to watch in the name of entertainment still fails to convince me that he is a genius. Shrewd operator perhaps, but not a genius.

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Rated 2.0 stars
More quality control needed Woody

A Customer from Nottingham, 3rd June, 2009

I've been working my way through the Woody Allen collection - I'm a huge fan of the run of films from Love & Death through to Hannah and Her Sisters, but then there was a whole series of films that came about once a year that I never caught at the cinemas. Not worth a baby-sitter to go watch Manhattan Murder Mystery. Now older and wiser, I've been working through them and although some (Anything Else) are little gems, others (Melinda & Melinda) are pretty poor. This isn't quite that bad, but it's on the indifferent end and belongs in the box with others about Allen's sexual fantasies of being able to control or attract beautiful women, despite being an ugly old pensioner. The plot isn't much (stage hypnotist entrances Allen & heroine and then gets him to commit jewel heists). The jokes are far from hilarious and the 40s period setting seems fake.

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Rated 3.0 stars
Not as bad as Id feared

Bluesaxeman from , 16th May, 2009

Im a big fan or Mr Allen, but had never seen this movie and was scared off by some of the reviews, worried that it might tarnish his image in my mind. I have to be honest and say it not his best, but its not nearly as bad as id feared. There are no inspired moments that so many of his films have, and yes he is too old to be playing the part he plays, but its certainly a long way from being a 'bad' movie. Its harmless fun, a good romp and a good way to pass a couple of happy hours on a rainy day. Plus, there were a couple of laugh out loud moments, though not as many as usual. Overall, 'could do better', but Id watch it again

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