Why Thriller here ain't try to eat us...
Weaverfish from from Crawley,
9th February, 2009
This is by some distance the worst film I have ever thoroughly enjoyed. The acting is mediocre - the usually reliable Ving Rhames is wooden like an oak tree, but he's a lot better than most of his co-stars. Also, there's no plot. Okay, there is a plot, but you can pretty much some it up in three words - Look! Zombies! Run! Yes, that sums up most zombie movies, but in this case there is nothing else to go with it - no satire, no social commentary, no tension, no sympathetic characters, no chemistry between characters, and virtually no scares. By far the worst thing about the film is the zombies themelves, however. As far as the shuffling vs running zombie debate goes, I'm quite happy with the running dead. But this film takes it too far. These zombies sprint like Usain Bolt, moving so quickly I swear sometimes the film's been speeded up. The urge to start whistling the Benny Hill theme music is almost overpowering. Worse than the speed however is the hilarous athletics, the zombies' ability to pounce like panthers onto their hapless victims from miles away. And in a genuinely laugh-out-loud moment, one of them even manages to scuttle upside down across the ceiling like the zombie Spiderman. Despite all this, I did love the film. Admittedly, any movie featuring a zombie automatically gets a 2 star head start in my book, but there were other things to admire. Mena Suvari dressed in a soldier's uniform righteously kicking walking dead butt for a start. To quote one of the other characters, she is sooooooo hot. Sorry, but there you go. Also, despite the rubbish plot, the script has some fantastic lines, most of them uttered by Nick Cannon as Salazar. 'By the power of Greyskull' is my particular favourite. And then there's the gore. While by no means full-on, it certainly doesn't disappoint. In one particular icky scene - stop reading now if you're squeamish - a zombie totters round on legs that have been reduced to bloody stumps, and, obviously finding the eyeball hanging down onto his cheek an irritation, he pulls it right out of its socket and pops it into his mouth. Always feeling peckish, zombies. So, this remade Day Of The Dead is great for a mindless laugh and some gory zombie fun. But if you want a decent, serious, thought-provoking horror film, stick to the Romero original. PS - The Blu-Ray extras are rubbish too, if that sort of thing interests you.
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